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6pack

A Quick Rant

Okay, so Boston.com posted a *suprisingly* good article under Health & Wellness yesterday about the “thigh gap” in women and six-pack abs in men. I’ll summarize it for you here: stop trying to get a “thigh gap” or six-pack abs. I’ll echo their sentiments: stop trying to get a “thigh gap” or six-pack abs.

You’ve probably noticed that I keep putting the phrase “thigh gap” in quotation marks. That’s because I had never, ever heard of a thigh gap until this article came out. But before I give my opinion on thigh gap, let me give my quick opinion on six-pack abs.

A six-pack is one possible side effect of being awesome.

A six-pack is the combination of abdomen muscles (which we all have) and low body fat. So you need to address both parts of the equation, but also understand that one part is drastically more important than the other. Look, I’m not going to beat a dead horse and right an entire article about six-pack abs. It’s just not necessary.

Just understand that a six-pack is a side effect of being awesome. If you’re strong and have a good body composition, some form of a six-pack will eventually rear its teenage-girl-drool-covered head. If you’re a guy (or even if you aren’t a guy), please read this article. Stop running miles and miles. Stop counting your macros and micros and everything else. Stop doing endless sets of crunches and leg raises and ab wheels (except in the quest to become stronger so that you can front squat an F-150). And stop trying to look like Brad Pitt in fight club. Tyler Durden wasn’t even a real person. No wonder he had a six-pack.

I bet your imaginary friend has a six-pack too.

Now to address the issue of thigh gap. Thigh gap, like six-pack abs, is a stupid thing to try and achieve. Here are some things that aren’t stupid to try and achieve: a better body composition (e.g. lower body fat and more lean tissue), a butt (guys, this one’s for you too), freaky mobility, incredible cardiovascular fitness, and being stronger than all the men in your gym (this is a seriously attainable goal). Here’s a secret, doing these things may help you get a thigh gap. However, a thigh gap is partially dependent on hip structure (a.k.a. width) and is genetic.

Now, here’s a list of things that probably won’t help you get a thigh gap: http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Thigh-Gap

And here’s a list of all the reasons why that website is wrong.

1. Taking birth control won’t make your hips wider.

2. If you don’t have a thigh gap, there’s probably something wrong with you and you need to see a doctor. (Sarcasm)

3. Butterfly stretches will tone your thighs! Especially if you do them ballistically! (More sarcasm)

4. Same as above for the pilates leg lifts.

5. Same as above, again, for the inner-thigh presses.

6. And the kicker, “Avoid exercises that bulk up your legs. These include squats, lunges, leg curls, and calf raises, among others.” First off, my calf size doesn’t affect my thigh gap. I don’t even want to start explaining what is wrong with this sentence.

I’ve been raising these calves, but my legs haven’t grown one bit.

If you are a girl and any of these six sentences didn’t make sense, please read the following two articles.

http://bretcontreras.com/how-to-attain-a-slender-look-like-jessica-alba-zoe-saldana/ – Please note Bret’s most important point here: Wait until you start getting “bulky” or “overly muscular” before you decide to switch up your training. And read through the entire article before drawing your final conclusions.

http://www.liftbigeatbig.com/2013/06/10-reasons-why-heavy-lifting-is.html – Read this because it’s funny.

If you’re a guy, read this: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/04/24/theres-more-to-life-than-six-pack-abs/, and be sure to click on the links and read through the summaries/conclusions of the different studies used.

So, what did we learn in this article, Josh? Well, although this article became more of a “Things You Should Read” article, we did learn a few valuable points. First off, I clearly didn’t fully comprehend the premise of the movie Fight Club. Second, although I fully believe that I cannot tell you what your goals should be, I do believe that they should not be to get a six-pack or thigh gap. Lastly, if you are awesome, you’ll look awesome. So go do awesome things.

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