Hysteria over the “dad bod” is at an all-time high. It’s described as a “nice balance between a beer gut and working out.” It has something to do with not being afraid to eat a whole pizza at night, but then going to the gym the next day and doing some chest and tris.
And in case you haven’t heard, women love the dad bod. It makes men seem more human and and attractive(?). Having a dad bod is kind of like being skinny fat, only with a little bit more muscle and a little bit more fat.
The dad bod has been covered by respectable media outlets such as the New York Daily News, The Washington Post, and Bro Science Life. There’s even a flowchart in one of the posts helping you to draw your own conclusion on whether you, in fact, have a dad bod yourself.
In the original article, the benefits of having a dad bod are listed as not being intimidating, being uglier than your girlfriend, better cuddling, better food, and women like it because they know what they’re getting themselves into.
Do You Have One?
With all this hype, there needs to be a better definition of what a dad bod actually represents.
Firstly, using BMI (as was suggested in one source) will not provide us with an accurate representation of what a dad bod actually is. There are many athletes out there whose BMI’s would place them in the categories of overweight or obese and they certainly wouldn’t have what we consider a dad bod. Therefore, we must find other measures.
Hence, I present to you the new Dad Bod Identification Flow Chart:
As we can see in this illustration, visible abs, a Golden Ratio (as it’s known in bodybuilding circles), too low or too high of a bodyfat percentage, and an equal waist-to-hip ratio all preclude you from being considered a quality dad bod candidate.
Here’s a quick explanation. If you have no visible abs, but do have a golden shoulder to waist ratio, then you’re probably bulking during the off-season and will return to your Adonis-like self in a few months.
If you have no abs, but a body fat percentage that falls under 15%, you probably just have an odd pattern of body fat distribution. And if you have no abs and a body fat percentage at 25% or higher,
you’re flirting with you are “out of shape,” and the original article clearly states that somebody with a dad bod is at least somewhat “working out.”
Enter The Man Bod
Aside from being totally sexist, the dad bod is an insult to powerlifters, bodybuilders, athletes, dedicated lifters, and every man that has ever done something awesome with his life.
The “dad bod” is worse than the modern male model because at least the modern male model wants to look like he cares.
Non-dad dad bods are created by a distinct lack of commitment to anything besides doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants.
Real dad bod’s are sported by men as reminders of their tendency to look after all of the other people that they care about before themselves.
The man bod is different and can be sported by anyone, at any time. You can spot one easily because it’s a “nice balance” between being a total badass and caring about the people around you. There’s lots of ways to figure out if you have a man bod, but it’s a lot less about having abs or drinking beers and a lot more about lifting heavy things, sprinting fast, jumping high, improving yourself, and positively changing people’s lives. Here’s some reasons why the man bod is awesome:
1. It’s intimidating.
Because men evolved from gorillas and we’ve been spending our entire lives trying to figure out how to get back to that.
It’s not intimidating to your friends, family, or girlfriend, because men are constantly reminding them of how much they care.
The women in a man bod’s life don’t feel insecure because man bod’s aren’t attracted to that. Furthermore, a man bod is always reassuring those around them of how awesome they are.
2. The girls are still the pretty ones.
Life Fact #1: Girls are pretty and guys aren’t.
And girls, don’t worry about looking small next to a guy with a man bod. His broad shoulders and muscular physique will always make you look smaller.
3. Cuddling is still great.
Cuddling is always great. Just because you have muscles doesn’t mean they’re always flexed.
And the man bod doesn’t require sub-10% body fat. I’ve personally seen abs even at levels as high as 16%. Men don’t worry about whether their abs are “popping” as much as whether they’re kicking as in the gym, at work, and at home (though not literally kicking ass at home because that would be cause for concern).
4. Food is delicious.
The benefit of having a man bod is that because you’re doing so much lifting and sprinting, you can pretty much eat whatever you want. Sure, man bod’s probably consume a little more protein, water, and overall calories than the “average” guy, but that’s because you need a lot more gas to fuel a tank than a Ford Fiesta. And a few more calories means that a man bod can eat an extra slice of pizza on the weekends without it affecting his overall appearance.
You don’t need to be hitting two-a-days or lifting for six hours each night to shred some fat and build some muscle. Anyone can spare four to five sessions a week at 30-45 minutes.
Plus, men realize that they will only be able to take care of the people they love if they’re healthy, so they don’t waste time making excuses about why exercise isn’t a priority.
5. You know what you’re getting.
Whether you’re recruiting a man bod as your friend, boyfriend, or husband, you know that you’re getting someone who doesn’t have an issue committing to things.
Man bod’s have already figured out that if they hit the gym four days a week, they can still go out to dinner and have a few beers with their friends.
A man bod knows that stress is a key factor in fat gain and makes sure to spend plenty of quality time with friends and family to reduce his cortisol levels.
You don’t have to worry about what he’s going to look like in 20 years because he’s already figured out how to balance his life and knows that new demands won’t mean giving up his friends, family, or the gym. Though his priorities will change, he’ll always make time for what’s important.
The Man Bod should be the next Dad Bod.
To say that a dad bod is “more attractive” than somebody who is in shape, has a balance to his life, and applies everything in moderation is crazy.
The man bod might not have “washboard” abs, but you know where they are and can most likely count them. He goes to the gym occasionally, if occasionally means on a regular basis and with a plan. He doesn’t drink heavily or smash whole pizzas every night, but he definitely enjoys pizza and beer.
The man bod says, “I have some muscle and I’m not afraid to wrestle polar bears, but I’m probably going to go home to my girlfriend tonight and watch re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy.”
And who wouldn’t want a man that could wrestle a polar bear and then watch Grey’s Anatomy?